Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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