so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
