HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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