She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
