I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
