So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
