we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
