So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
