ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
