you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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