the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
