dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
