Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
