Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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