she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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