My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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