this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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