so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we made out on top of his cat.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
