I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
