you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
