our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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