"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
