Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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