whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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