Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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