kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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