For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
