I murdered the dance floor call the cops
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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