i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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