Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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