Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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