she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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