every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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