is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
