Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
