I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
