Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
