So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
