Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
