I am puke
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize