So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
