its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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