i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
