someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
