When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
