People in love make me want to vomit
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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