I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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