so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
