Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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