I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
