my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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