Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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